Domestic bliss is not blissful at all!
by Lunor
Summary: I love you is just another way of saying I hate you. Slash Optimus/Megatron.


_**Don't get mad. Get even.**_

_Series: G1_

_Author's note: So after listening to several stories from coworkers about their significant other, I had brilliant idea. Why, I asked myself, don't we put our beloved Transformer leaders in situations of domestic partnership? Sorry, I didn't write a back story about them getting together. Whenever I thought of doing so I got sudden urges to throw myself out a second story window. I'm afraid I'm not very good at writing romance; it always comes out sounding like some poorly written soap opera. There will be more chapters hopefully; thanks to my coworkers I have lots of scenarios. XP_

* * *

_Buzzzz_

Just ignore it and they'll go away.

_Buzz_

Pause

_Buzz Buzz_

Pause

_Buzz Buzz Buzzzzzzzz_

"Prime." He grunted.

Nothing, Megatron sighed and rolled out of their recharge bed, and stumbling, made his way through their apartment in his sleep induced haze. The infernal doorbell buzzing the entire time. How Optimus managed to sleep through it he didn't quite know, but was envious of the ability all the same. Megatron, upon finally reaching the door, palmed the panel to open it with a little more force than strictly necessary.

It took several seconds to realize just who had woken him up and the confusion that followed the recognition only furthered this annoyance. He was about to threaten that if this late night call was anything less than destruction of the universe they would get to find out just how hot fusion cannons got, when the distinct smell of high grade energon wafted into his odor sensors. Groaning inwardly he wondered why Autobots couldn't be more like Decepticons. Decepticons didn't get drunk and run around disturbing other's precious recharge. No, Decepticons stayed in their own quarters bothering no one but the walls. Leave it to an Autobot to make matters more dramatic than they had to be.

Wheeljack, who had up until this point, been staring wide opticed at him, grinned stupidly and started waving so enthusiastically it nearly toppled his already unbalanced frame over. Ironhide just continued to star vacantly and looked as if, what little processing functions he had in the first place, had deserted him completely.

Megatron idly wondered what they would look like melted to the wall behind them.

Luckily his common sense, which is always on permanent stand by, told him to screw the idea, because if he didn't he wouldn't be getting any for a very long time, and really one night of disturbed recharge is nothing compared to a millennium of forced celibacy.  
Optimus would do it to, just to spit him.  
There were a few moments of silence until his brain chips, with a few helpful pokes from his common sense, told him he was supposed to acknowledge them. "What?" Not the most elegant greeting but what did they expect? It was, a quick check of his internal clock, 2:37 in the morning.

Wheeljack giggled and slurred out something that sounded like, "Is Opty herrrrre?"  
And Megatron was reminded once again that Autobots couldn't hold their drinks worth slag.  
"Apparently in your drunken stupor your CPU neglected to remind you Prime is in currant residence of this dwelling." Megatron replied dryly. More silence until an intelligent, "Huh?" Megatron sighed irritability, "Where else would he be? He_ lives_ here." An uncomprehending stare, "Sooo… he's here then?" A loud hiss followed as the door slide shut in Wheeljack's face. He was not, Megatron seethed, an Autobot, patient, or good at dealing with things when sleep deprived.

Stomping back to their recharge chamber Megatron came to a stop when he entered and took a moment to just stare at Optimus. Autobot leader, universal peacemaker, he was adored by many for his caring, understanding character. After the romancing, the trials and tribulations of getting together, after their monogamous relationship started Megatron came to a momentous realization. Optimus Prime, formally one Orion Pax, was the most selfish slagger he'd ever met. Case. In. Point. Upon finding Megatron missing, attending to Prime's own idiotic friends no less, he sprawled his** entire** body across the berth leaving no room for Megatron to return to recharge.

Bastard.

An idea popped into his head and Megatron smiled cruelly, the smile that made his enemies on the battlefield rethink their position, the smile that usually had Starscream running for cover. _Oh yes, he was going to enjoy this._ Three loud sounds ripped through the apartment a moment later. A loud clanking, not unlike metal hitting metal, a yelping shriek followed closely by the noise of something quite large falling to the ground. Optimus stared at him befuddled as Megatron made himself comfortable again. Finally looking over at Optimus, Megatron calmly told him he had company and to please keep it down, and with that fell back into recharge.

The next morning a cheerful, refreshed Megatron walked into the living part of the apartment, bypassing the slumped form on the couch and going to retrieve two energon cubes. Sitting down and handing one to Optimus, Megatron sipped his, effectively hiding his smirk. "So, when did your company decide to go home?" he inquired. Piercing twin lights of sapphire glared accusingly at him. Sparkling rubies gazed back innocently. "You are the most malevolent, cold hearted fiend I've ever met." Optimus said in his calm even tone. "Aww," kissing him on the cheek Megatron cooed, "I love you too Opty." Bolting out the door Megatron flew to work before Optimus could wake up enough to shoot him.

Prime had impeccable aim when he was sleep deprived.


End file.
